


little nugget

by littlecolonel



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Brendon Urie - Freeform, Brendon Urie Imagine, Character Death, Cheating, F/M, How Do I Tag, Human/Vampire Relationship, I Don't Even Ship Ryden, Imagine your OTP, Implied Ryden, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Please Kill Me, Pregnant Brendon Urie, Ryan Ross - Freeform, Satire, This is Bad, Vampire Bites, Vampire Brendon Urie, Vampires, Why Did I Write This?, gonna tag it decently anyway even though, i promise it was a joke tho, i write better than this tho, like really bad, please don't look at this before looking at my other works, ryan ross cameo, they're better than this i swear, vampire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25392262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlecolonel/pseuds/littlecolonel
Summary: “i’m pregnant, buttercup.” he spoke softly, a slight blush spreading over his cheeks as he cuddled you closer.  a smile spread over your face.  you were going to be parents!  “we’ve been waiting for this so long, brenny!” you exclaimed to him, and he nodded excitedly.  “we’re going to be parents, y/n,” he murmured against your hair and clung you tightly to his chest.  “we are.”author's note : since the writing of this fic, several sexual assault allegations have come up against one of the characters used in this story, brendon urie, frontman and sole remaining member of panic! at the disco.  while i do not condone his actions at all, and will never consider myself a fan of his again, i wrote this piece as a work of satire, and am choosing to keep it up based on the satirical elements, not because i support him or his work.  if you are not informed about the allegations about brendon urie and currently support him, please take the time to reach out and ask for information and do your own research on the matter.  thank you.
Relationships: Brendon Urie/Original Character(s), Brendon Urie/Original Female Character(s), Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie, Sarah Orzechowski/Brendon Urie





	little nugget

**Author's Note:**

> please don't kill me this is an awful story and i would recommend you don't even read it

“y/n!” brendon called from upstairs, “come up here, i have a surprise for you!” you raced up the stairs. at the top of the stairs you were met with plush lips pressed to yours and chocolate brown eyes studying your face. “what is it?” you asked, and he just smiled knowingly. as if he knew something that you should, but don’t. “wait.”

“do you want a beer babe?” you asked as he trailed back into the living room just off of the staircase. “no, i’m good,” he grinned and sat on the couch. huh, that was weird, you thought. brendon was never one to turn down a nice beer. after a second’s hesitation, you ran over to the couch and tackled him. “brendon, baby, wanna watch a movie?” you asked in a sweet voice.

he shrugged and smiled at you fondly. “maybe i just want to cuddle with you,” he teased. his lips drifted toward your neck and you giggled obnoxiously. “not now brenny, that’s for dinner time!” he let out a loud groan and glared, rubbing his stomach. “but me and- but i’m hungry, y/n!” you rolled your eyes. you knew that if he fed now you wouldn’t have much energy for later.

“fine, brenny, but make it small, okay?” you whined, and tilted your head away from his, baring your neck. “of course, y/n. i wouldn’t want to drain you.” his fingers danced over the skin on your hip erotically and he sunk his fangs into your neck. you could feel your body grow weaker as he fed from you but the contact was strangely intimate. you let out a little gasp from your throat but then clapped your hand over your mouth to stop it. his lips smirked around the bite as he kept sucking the blood out of you.

when he was done feeding he gently treated the wound. “that was one of the sweetest meals you’ve given me in a while, y/n,” he whimpered against your skin, “you taste so much better than sarah used to…” he pressed a kiss to your bite then tilted his face up toward you, smiling a toothy smile, flashing his blood-stained fangs. his pupils were dilated like they do when he’s high or he feeds when you’re high. his cherry red lips pressed against yours and the leftover blood in his mouth was pushed into yours. “mmmm,” you hummed against his lips, “you taste so good.” his lips formed into a slight smirk and he mumbled against yours, “no, darling, that’s you.”

when your lips finally parted, his smirk turned into a gentle grin. “you want to know the surprise, y/n?” he asked you, a smile playing on his still blood-stained lips. you nodded, and stared into his dark brown eyes with hope. “y/n…”

“yeah, brenny?”

“i’m pregnant, buttercup.” he spoke softly, a slight blush spreading over his cheeks as he cuddled you closer. a smile spread over your face. you were going to be parents! “we’ve been waiting for this so long, brenny!” you exclaimed to him, and he nodded excitedly. “we’re going to be parents, y/n,” he murmured against your hair and clung you tightly to his chest. “we are.”

“well, considering you’re eating for two,” you laughed a little and curled into his sturdy, pale figure, “want to feed more? i can handle it.” he quirked an eyebrow upward at you. “are you sure?” he asked considerately, “i don’t want to push you, y/n.” you shrugged a little. “you need my blood more than i do, brenny… you’re carrying our child!”

“about that…” he trailed off nervously.

“about what?” you asked concernedly, your head racing with the possibilities of what he might say next. “about the kid…” he mumbled again, and cuddled you closer. “i don’t know if it’s yours or sarah’s, babe. because i just started showing. so i got pregnant… i got pregnant around when i cheated on her with you.” 

“YOU USED ME TO CHEAT?” you exclaimed shrilly, and jumped out of his lap, “HOW COULD YOU? I KNOW SARAH WAS A FOUL WOMAN BUT I’M NOT A HOMEWRECKER, BRENDON.” you could see the cogs turning in his head. “well,” he muttered sheepishly, “you were. once. but now it’s different, baby. you have to see that. we’re going to be parents.”

you sighed resignedly. “you’re right, brenny. i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have yelled at you.” when you finished talking, you climbed back into his lap and curled up. “if it makes you feel better,” bren whispered into your hair as he rubbed your back, “i think it’s yours. and if you want you can take a maternity test when it’s born.”

a sigh escaped your nose. “but you can never be sure! what if sarah and i were, like, identical twins? then you could never tell!” you could see him fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “you and sarah don’t look anything alike, i don’t think you have the same dna, sweetie pie.” you frowned, “i guess you’re right, brenny. but, i don’t think i want to know. whether it’s sarah’s or mine, we’ll raise our little nugget together.”

“our little… nugget?” brendon stuttered confusedly, “why are you calling it a nugget? it’s a baby.”

“nope, it’s our little nugget!” you exclaimed proudly, and he shook his head at you. “whatever you say, baby.”

\- 5 months later -

“i think her name is…” brendon grinned at your nugget fondly. “her name is olivia taylor urie.” you laughed in disbelief, wrapping your arms around my now-husband. “that’s a perfect name.” a couple seconds later he looked away from me and back at your little nugget that he was holding. “but you’re still gonna call it nugget, aren’t you?”

you nodded, and grinned, “until the day i die.”

\- 1 day later -

“bren!” ryan busted in your house, looking around for your husband frantically.

you heard brendon come down the stairs. you were hiding in that living room where you had first figured out about your little nugget.

the conversation was muffled but after a few minutes, all you heard was, “bren, no, seriously, bren, the baby’s yours. you’re a father of two now. with me.”

your heart gave out. bye bye little nugget.


End file.
